I generally don’t like to write negative posts, but since we’ve already talked about 5 Things TO DO Now That You’re Engaged, I thought it was only fair to explore the flip side. So, here we go! Here’s what NOT to do right after you become engaged.
1. DO NOT Overshare on Social Media.
I know I told you to update your social media. But let’s all acknowledge that past the first step of changing your relationship status, there is a lot of room for error. In general, I think it’s a mistake to share every single detail of your wedding on social media. (I know this sounds insane coming from me, because, well, I’m a Blogger…) The reason for this is two-fold. First of all, I doubt your entire Facebook friend list cares about the color of your flowers or the fact that your hands hurt from stuffing 200 invitation envelopes. Even those who love you the most will tire of daily wedding updates. And secondly, I doubt you have invited all your friends to your Big Day. I have over 700 Facebook friends, and I think if I did the math (and I try to never ever do math) I was able to invite less than 10% of them to our wedding. So, it’s rude to discuss a party with those who aren’t invited. End of story.
If you really feel the need to share all the details, join the online communities at Weddingbee or The Knot. Or, start your own blog.
And as far as posting a photo of your ring, I think that’s a personal preference. I didn’t. For me, our engagement wasn’t so much about the ring that I wanted to acknowledge it on Facebook in that way. But many gals do. It’s up to you. No judgement.
2. DO NOT Verbally Promise Things to Anyone about ANYTHING
In these heady, very early days of your engagement, you will start to say things that maybe you don’t really 100% mean. It’s not malicious, I know. You are blissfully happy, and so excited, and anything seems possible! This is the danger zone. Do not promise your best friend from high school who just bought a really expensive camera that she can be your wedding photographer. Do not promise your cousin that she can wear a yellow bridesmaid dress, or that her daughter can be the flower girl. Or your uncle that he can sing at the reception. Just, no.
Because things change – your best intentions might not work out in the long run, and you don’t want to have to have the awkward conversation later. Trust me on this one. Don’t make any major wedding decisions for a few weeks after your engagement. And then, don’t make any personal promises until your wedding date and venue are chosen.
Trust me on this one.
3. DO NOT Wear Your Engagement Ring 24/7.
Take it from someone whose engagement ring BROKE. (You can read all about that here.) You are not meant to wear your gorgeous, shiny new ring all day, every day. Especially if it’s an antique, like mine. Do not wear it in the shower. Do not wear it while applying lotions. Do not wash dishes with it. In fact, start using dish gloves, like, right this very minute. They protect your manicure and your ring, and they aren’t as bad as the ones our mom used. I recommend True Blues Medium Red Ultimate Household Gloves. Get them. Use them. Love them.
4. Talk Only About Your Wedding/Yourself/Your Relationship
Not gonna lie. This one was difficult for me. During wedding planning, I had a one-track mind. So, if someone innocently inquired, “How are you?”, my first instinct was to tell them all about the renovation of our wedding venue and how I hated the new carpet they were installing.
Honestly, no one cared about that but me. That’s the stone-cold truth. Even Bob the Builder was tired of hearing about that damn carpet. Luckily, I would catch myself in these conversations and then turn it around to the other person. “Oh, you know, busy planning the wedding! How are YOU?”
It might seem disingenuous, but trust me, in the long run, this is better.
5. Immediately Start Buying/Crafting All The Things!
It’s SO tempting to start shopping right away. I know I was itching to go dress shopping ASAP. And also to start crafting, because I didn’t want to wait until the last minute. But the truth is, you can’t really do a whole lot of shopping until you pick a date and a venue. The venue will dictate the style and tone of your event. And truthfully? The venue is more important than the dress. WHAT?!?! I know. But it is.
And as for crafting, I will only say this. I did one craft so early on that it had the completely wrong colors and fonts on it. I did it before we decided on our invitations, or color scheme, and in the end, if just looked wrong. Now, it was for the welcome bags, so I decided not to redo it. But a HUGE part of me wanted to redo it. If I had only waited a few more months, that would not have been the case.
Just enjoy your engagement for the first few weeks/months. Enjoy your fiancé and enjoy dreaming up your wedding day.
And if you feel like you want a little help with your wedding planning, check out my wedding planning company, Moxie Bright Events. We are based in Los Angeles, but love to travel!